The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humor was as popular with the ancients as it is today. It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: 'Something which has never occurred since time immemorial, a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap.'
It heads the world's oldest top 10 joke list published by the University of Wolverhampton on today. A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second - 'How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish.'
The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons - 'What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key.'
The study was commissioned by television channel Dave. The top 10 oldest jokes can be viewed at www.dave-tv.co.uk.
Keep Cool In The Summer Time
12 Cool Summer Tips:
1) Wear lightweight cotton or cotton polyester blend clothing. Although they make lightweight polyester fabrics in bright summer colors, don't be fooled. Polyester is made from plastic, and plastic will not keep you cool. The Family Manager's Guide To Summer Survival: Make the Most of Summer Vacation with Fun Family Activities, Games, and More!
2) Wear shorts or Capri's. Even having some of your leg exposed will cool you down a great deal. Summer Fun!: 60 Activities for a Kid-Perfect Summer (Williamson Kids Can! Series)
3) Expose your toes. Yes, wearing sandals or flip flops will help you stay cool. The Big Summer Activity Book
4) When going to the park or an amusement park, take along a spray bottle of water. Spaying a mist of water will cool you down. When there is a slight breeze blowing the wind acts as an air conditioner on your wet skin.
5) Plan outdoor meals. Cooking outdoors is not only a fun summer time activity, but it helps your home to remain cool. The Summer House Cookbook: Easy Recipes for When You Have Better Things to Do with Your Time
6) Eat cool meals. Salads and sandwiches are great for summer time, when you don’t wish for a hot meal.
7) Plan cool summer drinks. Fruit smoothies, milkshakes, and strawberry lemonade will cool and refresh on a hot summer day.
8) Plan your activities around water. When kids are hot and tired from playing hard, the water of a lake, river or swimming pool will be very inviting. Watch for danger signs of rapidly flowing water. The 100 Best Vacations to Enrich Your Life
9) Allow for children to run through the sprinklers to cool off when playing at home.
10) Provide a reusable water bottle for each of your children, to keep them hydrated.
11) Take time out for trips to the library. Or find good books on Amazon Have children spend time each day reading and resting from vigorous outdoor play.
12) Watch videos during the heat of the day. Amazon's DVD offers great discounts on tens of thousands of top DVDs.
1) Wear lightweight cotton or cotton polyester blend clothing. Although they make lightweight polyester fabrics in bright summer colors, don't be fooled. Polyester is made from plastic, and plastic will not keep you cool. The Family Manager's Guide To Summer Survival: Make the Most of Summer Vacation with Fun Family Activities, Games, and More!
2) Wear shorts or Capri's. Even having some of your leg exposed will cool you down a great deal. Summer Fun!: 60 Activities for a Kid-Perfect Summer (Williamson Kids Can! Series)
3) Expose your toes. Yes, wearing sandals or flip flops will help you stay cool. The Big Summer Activity Book
4) When going to the park or an amusement park, take along a spray bottle of water. Spaying a mist of water will cool you down. When there is a slight breeze blowing the wind acts as an air conditioner on your wet skin.
5) Plan outdoor meals. Cooking outdoors is not only a fun summer time activity, but it helps your home to remain cool. The Summer House Cookbook: Easy Recipes for When You Have Better Things to Do with Your Time
6) Eat cool meals. Salads and sandwiches are great for summer time, when you don’t wish for a hot meal.
7) Plan cool summer drinks. Fruit smoothies, milkshakes, and strawberry lemonade will cool and refresh on a hot summer day.
8) Plan your activities around water. When kids are hot and tired from playing hard, the water of a lake, river or swimming pool will be very inviting. Watch for danger signs of rapidly flowing water. The 100 Best Vacations to Enrich Your Life
9) Allow for children to run through the sprinklers to cool off when playing at home.
10) Provide a reusable water bottle for each of your children, to keep them hydrated.
11) Take time out for trips to the library. Or find good books on Amazon Have children spend time each day reading and resting from vigorous outdoor play.
12) Watch videos during the heat of the day. Amazon's DVD offers great discounts on tens of thousands of top DVDs.
Summer Fun for All at Amazon.co.uk!
Summer's here, the sun is shining (well, it’s trying to!), and to celebrate we've pulled together all the best summer deals we have across Amazon.co.uk for you. Make the most of the UK weather with ideas for your garden and summer eating. If you’re jetting away on holiday, you’ll find fitness DVDs and health & beauty recommendations to help you get in shape and once you're away, settle back with a good book. With offers across all our stores, we've got summer covered with our Summer Time Deals.
Tired? Headache? More Water Could Be the Answer
Did you know that frequent headaches and fatigue are among the most common signs of dehydration? 50-75% of Americans are dehydrated. Many of us don't even realise that we suffer from dehydration because a lot of the symptoms (headache, fatigue, dizziness, muscle weakness) could be attributed to other causes.
Water makes up 60% of our total body weight and is crucial to every body system. Lack of water can lead to dehydration, a condition that occurs when you don't have enough water in your body to carry on normal functions. Even mild dehydration can sap your energy and make you feel tired.
How much water do you need? The answer to this varies from person to person. Every day you lose water through sweating, exhaling, urinating and bowel movements. For your body to function properly, you need to replace the lost water by consuming beverages and foods that contain water.
It is wise to make water drinking a part of your normal routine. Drink a glass of water with each meal and between each meal, take water breaks instead of coffee or tea breaks, and substitute sparkling water or fruit juices for alcoholic drinks at social gatherings.
Your Body's Many Cries for Water: A Revolutionary Natural Way to Prevent Illness and Restore Good Health, is a great book that tells us why we really need water and how it prevents lots of illnesses. Contains some good natural tips for better health.
Water makes up 60% of our total body weight and is crucial to every body system. Lack of water can lead to dehydration, a condition that occurs when you don't have enough water in your body to carry on normal functions. Even mild dehydration can sap your energy and make you feel tired.
How much water do you need? The answer to this varies from person to person. Every day you lose water through sweating, exhaling, urinating and bowel movements. For your body to function properly, you need to replace the lost water by consuming beverages and foods that contain water.
It is wise to make water drinking a part of your normal routine. Drink a glass of water with each meal and between each meal, take water breaks instead of coffee or tea breaks, and substitute sparkling water or fruit juices for alcoholic drinks at social gatherings.
Your Body's Many Cries for Water: A Revolutionary Natural Way to Prevent Illness and Restore Good Health, is a great book that tells us why we really need water and how it prevents lots of illnesses. Contains some good natural tips for better health.
Keep the kids happy this summer, without going anywhere
I saw this advertised on ITV's This morning show today. It's a huge Aqua Jump Slide - 20ft long. The awesome water slide has a jumping ramp and the sprinkler tunnel sprays the length of the slide. With a splash pool for wet and wild landings, the kids will love this and it's now reduced to just £24.99! For extreme thrill seekers ony!
Aqua Jump Slide - Garden Water Slide - Splash Pool and Jumping Ramp
US Outdoor Inflatable Octopus Water Slide A very unique update to a must have summer item! To activate the spray heads, simply attach a garden hose that will supply a constant flow of water. Slip and Slide along the ground through the tentacles for hours of fun. Destined to be a perennial favorite of the kids!
Aqua Jump Slide - Garden Water Slide - Splash Pool and Jumping Ramp
US Outdoor Inflatable Octopus Water Slide A very unique update to a must have summer item! To activate the spray heads, simply attach a garden hose that will supply a constant flow of water. Slip and Slide along the ground through the tentacles for hours of fun. Destined to be a perennial favorite of the kids!
Get what you really want - Create an Amazon Wish List today
Do you ever feel embarrassed when you open a present from someone? It wasn't what you were expecting and you feel a little disappointed. But the strange part of it is, they can tell you are not totally happy. It's a horrible situation, but it is completely avoidable.
Get what you really want - Create a Wish List today and make a list of what you're hoping for and let your visitors choose the gift that you want. A wedding list, a christening list, a birthday list or just your own general list. Add whatever you like from the biggest selection of goods on the internet. Tell your friends and family, pass it on in your emails and you will never be disappointed again.
Get what you really want - Create a Wish List today and make a list of what you're hoping for and let your visitors choose the gift that you want. A wedding list, a christening list, a birthday list or just your own general list. Add whatever you like from the biggest selection of goods on the internet. Tell your friends and family, pass it on in your emails and you will never be disappointed again.
Baby Sale Extravaganza at Amazon.com
Diaper Promotion
Shop Your Registry and Get Six Months of Free Diapers.
Phillips Avent Promotion
Get $40 to Spend Later with Your Purchase of Philips-Avent.
Bugaboo Promotion
Save up to 20% on Select Bugaboo Cameleons Sold by Right Start.
Fisher Price Zen Collection, ongoing
Save 15% on the Fisher Price Zen Collection.
Take advantage of these promotions now, some are offered for a limited time only.
Shop Your Registry and Get Six Months of Free Diapers.
Phillips Avent Promotion
Get $40 to Spend Later with Your Purchase of Philips-Avent.
Bugaboo Promotion
Save up to 20% on Select Bugaboo Cameleons Sold by Right Start.
Fisher Price Zen Collection, ongoing
Save 15% on the Fisher Price Zen Collection.
Take advantage of these promotions now, some are offered for a limited time only.
The Dark Knight
Find the latest trailers, clips and merchandise at The Dark Knight store, in anticipation of one of this summer's biggest hits. Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight, starring Christian Bale once again as the keeper of Gotham City.
US Dark Knight here
US Dark Knight here
Up to 50% off selected books on China and the Olympics
With this year's Olympic Games in China fast approaching, we have put together a selection of books on or set in China, covering a variety of topics from food to travel, history to fiction and the Olympic Games. Browse below and save ££s today!
The 2008 Beijing Olympics take place in August. John Goodbody, for many years chief sports writer for The Times, has covered every Olympics since 1964. In this entertaining and informative account, A History of the Olympics, he tells the main stories of each of the modern Olympics. Here are some of the heroes and heroines who have made sporting history, as well as the main disasters and scandals that attend the world's greatest sporting event.
What does China think? is an invigorating book about the debates raging within China. We all know about the fast pace of change in this country. This book brings us the ideas being fought over in the country itself, from democracy to the idea of a 'peaceful rise'. It challenges all of our assumptions about China. We know everything and nothing about China. We know that China is changing so fast that the maps in Shanghai need to be rewritten every two weeks. We know that China has brought 300 million people from agricultural backwardness into modernity in just 30 years (something that took 200 years in Europe). China's voracious appetite for resources is gobbling up 40% of the world's cement., 40% of its coal, 30% of its steel, and 12% of its energy. It has become so integrated into the global economy that its prospects have immediate effects on our everyday lives: simultaneously doubling the cost of the London Olympics while halving the cost of our computers; keeping the US economy afloat but sinking the Italian footwear industry. We have an image of China as a dictatorship; a nationalist empire that threatens its neighbours and global peace. But how many people know about the debates raging within China?
Browse up to 50% off selected travel and language books
Browse Books Special Offers
The 2008 Beijing Olympics take place in August. John Goodbody, for many years chief sports writer for The Times, has covered every Olympics since 1964. In this entertaining and informative account, A History of the Olympics, he tells the main stories of each of the modern Olympics. Here are some of the heroes and heroines who have made sporting history, as well as the main disasters and scandals that attend the world's greatest sporting event.
What does China think? is an invigorating book about the debates raging within China. We all know about the fast pace of change in this country. This book brings us the ideas being fought over in the country itself, from democracy to the idea of a 'peaceful rise'. It challenges all of our assumptions about China. We know everything and nothing about China. We know that China is changing so fast that the maps in Shanghai need to be rewritten every two weeks. We know that China has brought 300 million people from agricultural backwardness into modernity in just 30 years (something that took 200 years in Europe). China's voracious appetite for resources is gobbling up 40% of the world's cement., 40% of its coal, 30% of its steel, and 12% of its energy. It has become so integrated into the global economy that its prospects have immediate effects on our everyday lives: simultaneously doubling the cost of the London Olympics while halving the cost of our computers; keeping the US economy afloat but sinking the Italian footwear industry. We have an image of China as a dictatorship; a nationalist empire that threatens its neighbours and global peace. But how many people know about the debates raging within China?
Browse up to 50% off selected travel and language books
Browse Books Special Offers
What's New at Amazon?
In our 4-for-3 promotion, order any four eligible books under $10 and we'll give you the lowest-price book free at checkout. Stock up on tens of thousands of our most popular books, including favorite series from Janet Evanovich and Jim Butcher.
Also save up to 80% on Stuhrling Watches and Up to 70% Off Top Running Shoes from
US Amazon
Keep checking the Electronics & Computing One Week Only Deals at UK Amazon
Also save up to 80% on Stuhrling Watches and Up to 70% Off Top Running Shoes from
US Amazon
Keep checking the Electronics & Computing One Week Only Deals at UK Amazon
Gustbuster Metro Umbrella
It's raining again! Yes, I know you know it's raining again. Not another post about the weather - well, what else is there to talk about?
So I searched at Amazon and found a great umbrella for everyone. Not just any old umbrella, but a new style GustBuster® Umbrella They were created to fulfil a single purpose: to produce the finest windproof umbrellas possible. The Metro, folding umbrella has taken three years in development. At 14" the umbrella is small enough to fit into a briefcase or large handbag. The Metro's sheath doubles as a backpack or you can sling it over your shoulder. The 43" canopy provides superior protection against the harshest wind/rain conditions.
If you're in the US you have a huge range of weird and wonderful Umbrellas to choose from.
So I searched at Amazon and found a great umbrella for everyone. Not just any old umbrella, but a new style GustBuster® Umbrella They were created to fulfil a single purpose: to produce the finest windproof umbrellas possible. The Metro, folding umbrella has taken three years in development. At 14" the umbrella is small enough to fit into a briefcase or large handbag. The Metro's sheath doubles as a backpack or you can sling it over your shoulder. The 43" canopy provides superior protection against the harshest wind/rain conditions.
If you're in the US you have a huge range of weird and wonderful Umbrellas to choose from.
Save money - Go Green Today
Do you care for your family and friends, and the planet? Then think, really think about being more organic in your life. Look for recycled, fair-trade or environmentally friendly products when you shop. Make a change today.
Here you will find Eco friendly energy efficient home products, energy saving product information, energy efficient products, conservation products, and personal technologies to reduce carbon emissions and save you money.
So, not only does it help the planet it will save you money! .
If you're in the US you can start shopping at the Natural & Organic store at Amazon. It offers free delivery on all orders and over 25,000 items to choose from, including a huge range of organic and natural Cereals, Snacks, Cookies, Baking Mixes, and More! With Newman's Own Organics, Annie's, Seventh Generation, Bob's Red Mill, Pirate's Booty, and loads more.
Here you will find Eco friendly energy efficient home products, energy saving product information, energy efficient products, conservation products, and personal technologies to reduce carbon emissions and save you money.
So, not only does it help the planet it will save you money! .
If you're in the US you can start shopping at the Natural & Organic store at Amazon. It offers free delivery on all orders and over 25,000 items to choose from, including a huge range of organic and natural Cereals, Snacks, Cookies, Baking Mixes, and More! With Newman's Own Organics, Annie's, Seventh Generation, Bob's Red Mill, Pirate's Booty, and loads more.
Cheap iPod, MP3 & Accessories
Amazon stock all kinds of cheap MP3 players including brands such as iPod, Sony, Creative and Philips plus MP3 Accessories, including iPod speakers and headphones, MP3 skins and cases, docking stations and sound cards.
There's a very good reason why the iPod is the market leader... it's a brilliant piece of technology. Beautifully designed, simple to use and incredibly powerful. Watch your downloaded movies and TV shows in addition to listening to music with the new iPod nano, starting at a price that's less than you'd ever expect.
Here you will find the cheapest iPods. We have helped your search for MP3 and Digital Media Players by providing you with reviews and low prices.
Meet the latest members of the iPod family. The new iPod Nano, iPod Classic and iPod Touch. They are smaller, lighter and offer more functions than ever before. Truly setting the standards for mp3 and mp4 players to come.
New Apple iPod touch 32GB with Software Upgrade
Now available in 32GB with all the latest software updates pre-installed. Flick through album covers and find your music. Download and watch your favourite TV shows, music videos and more from the iTunes Store. Tap into thousands of photos. All using incredible multi-touch technology on a beautiful 3.5-inch display.
Features
* Apple iPod touch digital player
* Digital player - flash based
* Dimensions (WxDxH): 6.2 cm x 0.8 cm x 11 cm
* Weight: 120 g
* Stereo
* Digital graphic
* WAV, AAC, AIFF, Audible, MP3, Apple Lossless
* MOV, MPEG-4, H.264
* Flash Memory: 32 GB
New Apple iPod shuffle
Apple have a gem here. The world's smallest digital music player, the 1GB iPod shuffle lets you wear up to 240 songs on your sleeve. Or your lapel. Or your belt. Clip on iPod shuffle and wear it as a badge of musical devotion.
New Apple iPod touch
The iPod Touch begs to be held. Flick through your music with Cover Flow. Watch movies and TV shows in widescreen. Buy and download songs from the iTunes Wifi Music store. Surf the Web with the Safari web browser.
New Apple iPod classic
Decisions, decisions. Who needs them? Why should you have to choose what to put on your iPod? With up to 160GB of storage, iPod Classic lets you carry everything in your collection; up to 40,000 songs or up to 200 hours of video & more; everywhere you go. In a completely new, even thinner, all-metal design, this iPod is a modern classic.
Apple iPod nano - 8G
A thinner design. A brighter display. Up to 24 hours of battery life. Just about the only thing that hasn't changed is the name. The 8GB iPod nano puts 2,000 songs in your pocket. A great buy for the iPod novice.
Apple iPod nano 4GB Pink - Choose your colour!
Only 0.26 of an inch thin and 1.41 ounces light iPod nano packs alot into its diminutive design. Up to 24 hours of battery life.2GB 4GB or 8GB of storage. A brighter color display. A dockconnector that fits an entire ecosystem of iPod accessories.
Apple iPod 80GB Video/Black (5th Generation)
* 80GB storage
* Intuitive, customisable menus
* Want to mix things up? Click Shuffle Songs
* iPod makes your music look as good as it sounds, thanks to its big, bright colour display
* Album art appears alongside your songs in the Now Playing screen, so you see your music as you play it
* Improved video playback time, iPod keeps you entertained for up to 6.5 hours
* You can even view photo slideshows complete with music on iPod or on a TV via the optional iPod AV Cable
First class iPod technology.
Amazon have a wide selection of iPods, iPod nanos, mp3, & mp3 players, featuring the latest Apple technology Search all iPods here
Top brand iPod sellers:
Apple
Creative
FreeLogix
Generic Black
intempo
Klipsch
Logic3
Gear4
everything-ipod
Sony
Belkin
Griffin Technology
GIZMO-DEALS
Digital Webtron
Philips
Apple at Amazon
Find a great range of Apple products such as iPods, Apple Mac mini , MacBooks and Software.
New Apple Store
'Quantum of Solace' The Complete James Bond Short Stories
Quantum of Solace is the 22nd James Bond film by EON Productions, due for release in the United Kingdom on 31 October 2008 and in North America on 7 November. The sequel to Casino Royale, it is directed by Marc Forster, and features Daniel Craig's second performance as James Bond 007. It is based on Ian Fleming's short story 'Quantum of Solace' that was originally published in For Your Eyes Only (the short story collection) 1960.
Quantum of Solace: The Complete James Bond Short Stories By Ian Fleming
Quantum of Solace: The Complete James Bond Short Stories By Ian Fleming
Kids, Kids, Kids.. What do they want?
Give them hours of entertainment with the Hand Puppet Alligator.
Bring the Swamp indoors with our super-snappy Chopper Chums Alligator hand puppet.
If you're ready for fun, then let your imagination run wild.
Search 1000's of great toy ideas from the bestsellers to the all-time favs.
Bring the Swamp indoors with our super-snappy Chopper Chums Alligator hand puppet.If you're ready for fun, then let your imagination run wild.
Search 1000's of great toy ideas from the bestsellers to the all-time favs.
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